


Among My Stillness

by Proudmoore



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Reader Insert, Soulmate AU, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 16:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16705999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proudmoore/pseuds/Proudmoore
Summary: In a world where your heartbeat syncs up perfectly with your soulmate's, you find yours in the most unexpected moment.





	Among My Stillness

It had all started when you’d first set foot on the USS Enterprise.  At some point on your first day, you had become aware of a soft, distant pulsing in your head.  At first you’d thought it was the beginnings of a headache, your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, but you had soon realized that the rate and rhythm of the beat were different from your own.  
  
You had been startled.  You had always heard talk of people finding their soulmates, but you had gone for so many years without any inkling as to who yours might be that you had almost entirely given up searching until you’d begun hearing the rhythmic thumping here and there.  
  
It was an almost-constant presence. Sometimes you lost the sound when you were on away missions, or when you were sealed off in the physics lab in the belly of the ship, working on gravity stabilization experiments or cold fusion dynamics.  Other times, it was like there was a drum set right inside your skull, going off like your brain was throwing its own, personal classical rock concert.

You looked around in those moments, peering down the corridor, through windows and doorways, hoping to be given some, any sign to help you ascertain who your soulmate was.  There was rarely any consistency in your observations, however, and where there was, you couldn’t draw any conclusions anyway as you were trapped in close quarters with the same people the vast majority of the time and new faces often failed to register.   
  
Over time, you’d grown accustomed to the sound being a constant presence.  At first, you’d had trouble sleeping because of the foreign noise, but after a while, when you’d begun to find comfort in its slow and steady rhythm, you had found yourself having more trouble sleeping  _without_  it on days when it was quieter.  
  
Now, you’re so used to the sound that you can rarely even pick it out from the other background noise in your mind.  You’ve given up on following the sound to its source and so you rarely even glance up from your work anymore when it crescendos. You’ve been in a few awkward situations trying to pinpoint the beat and you’d be hard pressed to want to repeat any of them.  Instead, you’re resigned to waiting for the stars to align so that you can finally, one day, meet your soulmate in a way that isn’t forced or premeditated.  The hopeless romantic in you wants the introduction to be spontaneous, serendipitous.  
  
Your mind is wandering as you work, picking up on a change in the usual white noise therein; the usually strong, steady heartbeat that’s become the soundtrack to your days is fast and erratic, and your own pulse begins to race a little bit in response.  You take a deep, steadying breath, shake off the jitters, and hope that nothing is going horribly wrong for your soulmate as you return your focus to the task at hand.  
  
It doesn’t last long.  Within minutes, you realize too late your persistent distraction as you fumble the delicate circuitry in your hands, causing the ion laser you’re holding in your other hand to twitch and sear your thumb.  You gasp and drop everything you’re holding, thankful for the safety shut-off that’s built into the laser as it clicks off, rendering the instrument harmless on your lab bench.  The circuitry is fried and your thumb is in even worse shape, a deep burn springing up in the laser’s wake, causing your skin to bubble and split. It’s a painful, inconvenient occupational hazard, but not outright dangerous.  As such, you simply patch yourself up with the supplies in a first aid kit located conveniently nearby for just such occasions and you get back to your work.  
  
A couple of hours later, the heartbeat in your head is still faster than you’re used to, and your own has jumped up again as the pain from your earlier injury has steadily increased throughout the afternoon.  Calling it quits on your experiment for now, you decide to head to med bay for a date with a dermal regenerator.  
  
As you ride the turbo lift, nearing your destination, the heartbeat gets louder and louder.  It becomes louder still as you near the med bay and you feel a fluttering in your chest as your heart rate picks up.  You briefly wonder if you’re going to meet your soulmate just then, but as you glance around on your way over the threshold and into medical, you give up on the idea.  It’s utter chaos in the med bay – an away mission gone wrong has sent staff and patients alike into panics and you narrowly manage to avoid getting plowed over by the ship’s CMO as he streaks by you on the way to a critically injured patient’s bedside.  
  
Your own heartbeat is so loud in your ears that it’s nearly enough to drown everything else out, and you’re grateful for the relative quiet of the private exam room you’re shown to by one of the nurses. You take a deep breath as you sit down, feeling your heart rate slow just a little bit and you wonder whether it’s a coincidence that the pulsation in your head slows down, too.  
  
A moment later, Dr. M’Benga enters the room looking frazzled by the goings-on outside the door.  He’s friendly as ever while he mends the damage to your hand, though he does admonish you gently for waiting so long to have it tended. Still, he’s finished quickly and before long you’re on your way out again.  As you head for the exit, the heartbeat has increased in volume once again and you take one last, cursory glance around in hopes that a light might shine down on your soulmate but to no avail.  
  
The next morning, you make your way to the mess hall for breakfast.  As you near it, the heartbeat waxes louder again but that’s nothing abnormal – the entirety of the alpha shift dines together and it’s not hard to imagine that your soulmate is among the half of the total people on board present there.  
  
You make your way through the breakfast line, grabbing a coffee and a muffin, not feeling particularly hungry. Glancing around as you make your way into the fray, you decide to give romance one last shot.  Closing your eyes for a second, you focus in on the sound of the heartbeat that’s become a constant presence throughout your tenure on the ship.  Following it, stepping slowly in one direction and then the other, you track it to the far-left side of the room.  When you reach the vicinity where the sound becomes loudest, you find a number of senior officers and med bay staff sitting around a table together, joking and laughing.    
  
You manage to fit in well enough in your sciences blue and you slip into the only free seat at the table, right opposite the ship’s chief medical officer.  The sound in your head is so loud at this point it’s competing easily with the din of the conversations being held all around you and all at once, it’s beginning to make you feel a little claustrophobic.  Your heart responds by skipping uneasily and you’re just about to leave the table when a hand lands on one of yours.  You glance at it and follow the attached arm up until you’re face to face with Dr. Leonard McCoy.    
  
“Are you alright?” He asks, his expression concerned.  
  
You nod, your gaze flitting from side to side as you try to figure out who it might be – which one of the people at the table with you could be your soulmate.  
  
“Fine,” you mumble distractedly.  
  
His fingers linger, tracing over the faint, discolored spot on your thumb left over after the previous day’s slip up with the laser.  His touch is warm, gentle, and electrifying and your heart responds in kind, racing and skipping.  It’s been a long time since anyone has touched you with such apparent reverence.  
  
Just when you think he’s about to let you go, his fingertips travel higher up your hand instead, landing at your wrist, right over your radial artery.  You can feel your fast, erratic pulse reverberating off of them and you hurriedly avert your gaze.  
  
“Take a deep breath for me, darlin’,” he says softly, though his voice comes through above the cacophony of everything else. “Slow down.”  
  
The heartbeat in your head is fast now, too, and frantic like a tribal drumbeat.  You take the requisite breath, though it does nothing to slow the thundering in your chest.    
  
“It  _is_  you,” the doctor states.  
  
You’re about to turn to face him and ask what, exactly, you are but then you realize.  Your eyes widen in surprise and you feel dizzy with conviction.  Without looking at the doctor, you shakily move your own hand, turning it so you can extend your own fingertips toward his wrist. You’re almost afraid to confirm what he’s said in case, for some cruel reason, he’s mistaken, but ultimately you allow your fingertips to land at his pulse point.  
  
You close your eyes entirely, trying to corroborate the feeling with the noise in your head and you get so overwhelmed when the beats time up perfectly that you nearly swoon with relief.  The doctor’s grip on you tightens and a gentle tug on your wrist gets your attention at last.  You turn to face him, looking at him again but really  _seeing_  him for the first time.  His hazel eyes are warm and full of promise.  
  
“Come with me,” he says, getting to his feet, letting go of you.  
  
You have no idea where he’s leading you but you trust him innately and follow him around the table until the two of you can get closer.  He reaches out to take your arm, supporting you on your shaky legs as he slowly walks you out of the mess hall and to the nearby observation deck.  At this hour it’s devoid of people and you can finally take a breath; you hadn’t even realized you were feeling claustrophobic until this moment.  
  
As he stops the two of you before the glass separating you from the void outside, he turns you so you’re looking at him. You meet his gaze, a swirling pandemonium of emotions roils inside of you; anxiety, hope, fear, affection.  The pounding in your head and your chest is getting to be too much at that moment and you sway, nearly toppling over.  You would be on the floor if not for the strong arms that are suddenly around your waist, holding you upright, pressing you in close to a strong, steady chest.  
  
You rest your cheek against his pec, closing your eyes and listening to his heartbeat up close for the first time. The same sound that’s been in your head for the last couple of years is now right there, beneath your ear, and you find yourself easing into him the way you do every night with his heartbeat lulling you into relaxation.  
  
You feel your own heart rate coming down slowly as you listen to the doctor’s comparatively slow and steady beat.  It’s a long time before he moves in your embrace, and when he does it’s only far enough to be able to meet your gaze.  You’re finally able to look at him without feeling overwhelmed and you find him smiling down at you.  
  
“I’ve been wondering when I’d get to meet you,” he says gently, loosening his grip on you once he’s sure you’re steady.  
  
“Me too,” you breathe.  “I came so close yesterday.”  
  
“I wondered when I bumped into you,” he murmurs.  “Your heart was racing.  I wanted to stop and attend to you myself, but there was too much going on.”  
  
You smile.  
  
“Yours was pretty fast yesterday, too,” you comment.  “Usually hearing it helps keep me calm, but I was worried for you yesterday.”  
  
The CMO smiles wryly.  
  
“I’m always worried about you,” he remarks. “Your heart has a habit of racing away.”  
  
You blush, casting your gaze down.  
  
“I’m kind of an anxious wreck sometimes,” you admit, glancing back up as the vulnerability wanes.  “But your heartbeat always soothes me.”  
  
The doctor draws you closer once more, bringing a hand up to gently encourage you to rest your head on his chest as he strokes your hair.  You press into him, inhaling deeply, and relax.  
  
“I’m here whenever you need me,” he whispers, resting his chin atop your head.  
  
You fit against him perfectly and feel like somehow, though it’s a first, it’s also  _home_.  The two of you stand in silence as your heart rate slowly drops down to normal and when it does, you finally extricate yourself from the doctor’s arms, chuckling softly.  
  
“We haven’t even been properly introduced and we’re sharing something so intimate,” you say warmly.  
  
The doctor laughs and holds out a hand for you to shake.  
  
“Leonard McCoy,” he states.  “Chief medical officer.”  
  
You reach out in return, grasping his proffered hand and giving it a firm shake.  
  
“Y/FN Y/LN,” you reply.  “Clumsy physicist.”  
  
He laughs again and the sound is so rich and warm that you never want him to stop.  Releasing his hand from your grasp, you drop your arm and smooth down the front of your dress, your cheeks flushing a little at the newness of your affections for him.  
  
“Sounds like it would be good for you to have someone around to take care of you,” he says playfully.  
  
“You have no idea,” you reply with a grin.  
  
“Come see me in my office after your shift,” he instructs.  “I can make sure you’re still in one piece and then we can have a drink.  I’m looking forward to getting to know more about the person behind the heartbeat.”  
  
You nod, wordlessly accepting the invitation.  
  
“It’s a bit strange, isn’t it?”  You muse.  “I’ve had one of the most intimate pieces of you inside my mind since I first set foot on this ship, but I don’t even know your favorite color, or how you take your coffee.”  
  
He nods, reaching out to take your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.  
  
“We have all the time in the world to learn all that about each other,” he replies.  “Now come on – I get the feeling our respective crews are missing us.”  
  
You pull out your comm and glance at the time, your eyes widening.  
  
“Oh, damn,” you exclaim.  “I’ve got to run!  I’ll see you soon!”  
  
As you run off, trying not to trip over your own two feet as your heart starts racing again, he’s laughing once more and waving you off.  
  
“Not too soon, I hope,” he calls after you. “I don’t want to see you in medical until the end of your shift.  Be careful!”  
  
You’re shaking your head as you run, your heart light, racing out of happiness for once, and you glow with excitement as the beat in your head catches up to yours and synchronizes with it.  You internalize the rightness of it and thank the stars for giving you the sweet, serendipitous meeting you had hoped for.  
  
You can’t  _wait_  for the evening to come so you can start writing the first chapter of the rest of your life.


End file.
